


Connor and the Cheese Fest

by Zany_Frog



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Father-Son Relationship, Flirting, Gavin Reed Redemption, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, My boys an idiot, Oblivious Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Pick-Up Lines, Poor Connor (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2020-12-23 20:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21087518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zany_Frog/pseuds/Zany_Frog
Summary: Connor is confused, Gavin and Nines are friendly rivals, and Hank and the Jericho Crew just want them to kiss Connor already.In which bad pick-up lines are said, and Connor doesn't understand why his friends are suddenly talking in riddles.





	1. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

**Author's Note:**

> I _may_ have started this a while ago, and it _might_ have been gathering dust while I fucked off to other fandoms for a few years. But - uh - I really want to finish this, and y'all are good at giving me motivation.  
In other words, I'm a slut for validation. Gimme dem good kudos. <3
> 
> Also, the chapters have no determined size, because I have given up on life and caring. Some will be short, some will be long, the only thing you can depend on is that a bad pick-up line will be in the chapter. *shrug*

“Are you a magician?” Before Connor could interrupt to say, no, of course he wasn’t, Gavin was talking again. “Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

It was said smoothly, a hint of a smirk on Gavin’s face as he leaned on his desk. Connor blinked, tilted his head, then looked over to Hank as the man burst out laughing. Obviously, he was missing something here, he just had no idea what.

After a second of watching Hank go red-faced with his laughter, he turned back to Gavin. “I believe you are aware of my job, Detective, and that it has nothing to do with magic.”

For a second, Gavin looked completely baffled, but it was gone just as fast. His grin grew and he gave a small chuckle, something that had Connor’s thirium pump beating faster than necessary and a small warning that his body’s core temperature was rising to pop up. Gavin pushed himself away from Connor’s desk and crossed his arms.

“I was just saying you look nice today, is all. Don’t worry about it.”

And then he left, with Connor still confused and Hank still laughing. The android blinked a few more times, trying to process everything that just happened.

Gavin and him had made up since the revolution, sure, but he had never gone too much out of his way to talk to him after his awkward yet sincere apology. They were now on friendly terms, enough that if they bumped into each other outside of work they could chat without feeling weird, but this interaction was...bizarre.

Wait, Gavin had said he looked nice. Connor looked down at himself, then looked in the reflection of his computer monitor to see the exact same outfit he had been wearing for a while now: a dark purple button up dress shirt with a light blue and pink patterned tie and light gray slacks.

“Lieutenant, what did Detective Reed mean? From what I’m aware, I don’t change my appearance much from day to day.”

Hank had recovered enough from his laughing fit to answer his question, if a little breathily. “Jeez, you really don’t see what - y’know what, never mind. ‘Course you don’t.” Hank waved his hand around. “You’ll figure it out sooner or later, kid. Just come to me if that prick ever does anything you don’t like.”

Now Connor was even more confused. “Of course, Lieutenant.”

“And call me Hank, for fuck’s sake.”


	2. They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt kinda bad about the small first chapter, so have chapter two. I have had to continually go through this story and switch the tenses, so if you find any issues like that - or any issues at all really - please let me know. ;D

Nines was rather friendly with Connor and had sought his advice on some human matters in the past, as he was more experienced with them. So seeing him walk up to his table during their mandatory lunch break wasn’t all too surprising. Connor simply turned to the oncoming android with a smile on his face. Instead of a normal greeting, however, Connor was met with something else.

“Humans say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Clearly, none of them have ever stood next to you.” It’s said with Nines’ normal collectedness, though there was a slight twitch of his lips that portrayed his inner delight.

Connor paused, trying to understand what Nines was talking about. “I...don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Suddenly, Hank was laughing like all of those other times when Connor didn’t understand what Gavin was saying. He frowned at the man, before turning to Nines again.

“Explain it to me?”

Then, Gavin was walking over too, clapping a hand on the RK900’s shoulder with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “He’s just talking about how nice it is to hang out with you. I agree with the plastic ass, here.”

The two looked at each other and there seemed to be some sort of understanding that passed between them, an understanding that Connor was not privy to. He smiled though, a small fluttering feeling in his thirium pump as a rising temperature warning showed up in his vision again. He dismissed it easily, used to it by now.

“Oh, well, it is definitely nice to hang out with you both, as well. Would you like to sit down?”

Nines gave a small smile and sat down beside Connor in that graceful way of his. Gavin sat on Connor’s other side, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet on the table.

“That is unsanitary, Detective,” Nines said, easily reaching across the table - and Connor - to push Gavin’s feet back to the ground. The taller android settled himself back into his own seat. Connor noticed that he was a bit closer now.

Gavin stuck his tongue out at the other android and made himself comfortable, without putting his feet back on the table. “You’re unsanitary, you blood-licking fuck.”

“My internal systems clean themselves rather thoroughly, unlike how you clean yourself, Gavin.”

“Wow, rude much?”

The two continued to banter, in a way similar to how Hank and him do. The thought made him look towards the Lieutenant, noticing the way the man hastily put something under the table. Connor narrowed his eyes at him.

“What were you doing, Lieutenant?”

Nines and Gavin looked over at Hank too, now that Connor had brought the man’s actions to their attention.

“Hah, nothin’ you need to worry about right now.”

Later, when Connor found a Twitter apparently dedicated to him with pictures that looked to be taken from a certain Lieutenant’s perspective, he simply exited out of the website with a small smile.


	3. Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, I may have forgotten to update this for a while..... Very sorry!

There was a crime scene. A big one, at that. At least eleven androids’ bodies were there, bloodied and beaten and torn apart. It was a sickening sight, but one that Connor was sadly used to.

While gruesome, it seemed to be a pretty standard hate crime. A group of anti-android protesters ganging up on unsuspecting androids. The truly angering and tiring part of it all was that they did it in broad daylight, in a place where cameras could see them. And yet they still did it, knowing that they would be identified sooner or later and taken in for their crimes. Maybe they believed that they wouldn’t be punished, or just didn’t think they would be punished in a way other than being fined for property damage.

“Hey, somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!”

Ah, Connor forgot Gavin and Nines were assigned to the same case. He felt a grin take over his face before he could stop it, not that he really wanted to.

“Hello, Gavin. Nines. I don’t think calling the cops will do much good, as we are already here, but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless.” Connor had decided on a more comfortable approach when picking out his outfit today, going for a nice green sweater that was a bit too big and black skinny jeans. Maybe he should wear the outfit more if Gavin liked it so much.

Hank gave a snort, shaking his head. “You’re all hopeless.”

There’s a small pause in the conversation as the two newcomers took in the crime scene before them. Neither of them reacted very much, as used to these sights as Connor was. The thought just made him all the more exhausted. They shouldn’t have to be used to this.

“Are you alright, Connor? I know this is a very gruesome scene.”

“Oh, I’m alright. I just wish....” What did he wish? To stop these crimes before they happen? To catch the killers and throw them behind bars for the rest of their lives? Honestly, right now, all he wanted to do was curl up with Sumo and enter stasis for a week. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe we should head home, kid. I know I could use a drink or two, and you’ve been running around too long to be healthy.”

“Hank, we still have half the day left, and I am running on 22% energy.”

Nines butted in, “Below optimal levels. You should go home with Hank, we can take the investigation from here.”

Connor quickly scanned the taller android. His stress levels were in the normal parameters, but his energy levels were even lower than Connor’s. True, Nines was a more advanced model and could therefore last longer on lower energy, but that didn’t mean it was any better than the energy levels he had.

“Well, if I’m going home, then you’re coming with me. Your energy levels are worse than mine.” Connor crossed his arms defiantly, a habit picked up from Hank.

“Unnecessary. As a newer mode-”

“Shut up and take the offer, asshole. I can stay and work the scene the old fashioned way.” Gavin smiled a cocky smile and pushed Nines towards the other android.

“No, Gavin, I will no-“

“Oh, Jesus Christ, if this is how it’s gonna be, then I’m gonna leave alone while you all argue like children.”

There was an awkward silence as both android and human partners stared at each other after the statement.

“Here, why don’t we all just have a day off and watch some crappy movies like normal people, huh? That sound good to all of you?” Without waiting for an answer, Hank started walking to the door. “Good. C’mon, we can all fit in my car.”

Connor smiled as if this was normal, then tugged at both Gavin’s and Nines’ sleeves to get them going. Incredulously, the two followed.


End file.
